March 15, 2004

Listen to this, my anxious friend.

You know what you and me should do? We should build a website, The Website for Bored Hypochondriacs. The website would consist of a place where you could enter all your symptoms, which would then be matched against a vast database in order to generate a list of diseases that match your particular set of complaints. Like a recipe finder for neuroses. Because let me tell you, and I should know, it's just plain inefficient to use WebMD or Google for this purpose.

Posted by hilatron at March 15, 2004 11:24 AM
Comments

HA HA!! Do you do that too? I'm on WebMD like every other day for whatever little unidentifiable piece of shit is bothering me, which is always. So far this month I've had oral cancer, sores on my toes which indicate a bacterial infection of the heart, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and a blood clot.

Posted by: EV at March 15, 2004 12:05 PM

So far, my favorite was when I had Ebola, back in spring of my senior year of college. I even composed a country-western song about it, "I've Got a Hole in My Heart and Ebola in My Pocket." Good times.

Posted by: Hilatron at March 15, 2004 12:17 PM

lucky me. i get to pester my doctor/nurse parents non-stop about the lengthy list of diseases i am sure i have contracted. they are always indulgent of my paranoia. bless them.

Posted by: snowy at March 15, 2004 01:25 PM

I kinda gave up on web diagnoses when I diagnosed my husband with a nasal yeast infection on the advice of some woman I met in a chat room, he went to the doctor and demanded medication for his nasal yeast infection, and the doctor raised his eyebrow and said that nasal yeast infections are unheard of except in heavy cocaine users. I mean, it was funny, but he was pretty mad.

Posted by: Jess at March 15, 2004 10:51 PM

Sounds like a soubd plan to me. Think the vast database would contain recreational street drugs as well? *ahem*

Posted by: Rachel at March 16, 2004 12:54 AM

I have a layman's medical-type-book that I sometimes leaf through in order to self-diagnose. It's a great resource because with it I was able to conclude that I was suffering from both hyper-thyroid and hypo-thyroid at the same time. As you can imagine, that's a very unusual condition.

Posted by: Petula at March 17, 2004 10:46 AM