My coworkers and betters have now decided that I have worked here forever and know everything about everything, which means that daily, of late, I get casually asked to “Find the shizwap from the clammydo we did in 1994 and integrate it with this here fipfam,” or “Get me the dillawangs from the last five years, and meet me in the conference room in ten minutes.” I paraphrase, but you get the idea.
This week, I’ve been looking for slides. So far, I have been accused of having a system for keeping track of the slides (most of which I have never seen, none of which I have ever archived, and with which my sole contact has been to type lists of those that are used in presentations); of having created and saved samples (and of course slides) of a custom-imprinting project which, it turns out, happened two years before I got here; and of knowing where “all those pictures from that…thing” went.
The real problem is that my psyche is always ready with a backup supply of insecurity, so of course, when each unknown factor is first brought up, I think that surely I should know this, why don’t I remember making the custom coasters? Where DO I keep the slides? My god, what kind of loser am I?? And yet, there’s something about me that keeps putting me in such fixes; I must look one million times more competent than I feel. Every boss I’ve ever had has one day woken up believing that I hold the key to the universe, and is so, so surprised and disappointed when it turns out that I am just bumbling along like everyone else (although, to my credit and unlike most of my past supervisors, I am capable of operating a basic e-mail program. But that’s a discussion for another day). I do not know what I do that causes people to think my shit is all together, but I really wish I could tone it down, at least to an extent that would prevent strangers from asking me for directions all the time. Me, the girl who navigates via unusual landscaping choices rather than street signs! Ha!
For now, I must figure out what I’ve gone and done with that one letter that I didn’t type and which my boss cannot describe to me in any detail, I mean really, who hired me anyway?
Posted by hilatron at July 1, 2004 09:46 AM | TrackBackAnother difference between men and women. Women navigate by using landmarks("turn left at the big clock tower"), men navigate by street signs("head east on Jefferson") I wonder who gets lost more often? I myself navigate by closest major store("it's right next to Target", or "you know where Rite-Aid is?" Believe me, if you are talking to another girl, she will know EXACTLY what you mean. :)
Posted by: jlyn at July 5, 2004 07:17 AMwell i am a girl and i navigate by internal compass points. this makes it easy to read maps, & get around nyc, but very difficult to get anywhere in amsterdam as the entire city spins in a circular way off a center axis point (not just when i'm drunk and/or high; honestly north keeps changing as you walk along the same road). michelle, on the other hand, has been known to give directions such as "turn left at the hollow tree where the cute chipmunk lives, and then go straight until you reach the spot where that great junk store used to be." does this make me the man?
hilatron, all your problems stem from the fact that other people's meatbrains are more disorganized and less capable than your superior circuitry. that's what you get for travelling back in time to save the future! personally, these days when i encounter a disorganized brain i pretend i don't have a clue how to help with whatever task at which it is hopelessly failing. this makes me a liar, but helps me control my rage.
Posted by: tree at July 6, 2004 11:44 AM