MESSAGE-ORIGIN: H-TRON3000 FEEDBACK RECEPTORS 1, 7, 10-16
MESSAGE-DESTINATION: H-TRON3000 VERBAL COMMUNICATION UNIT (SUBHEADING: SMALL TALK GENERATOR; SUBHEADING: SOCIAL CONTACT, CASUAL)
CC: MOTHERSHIP
MESSAGE-SUBJECT: TWO RECENT INTERACTIONS; SOCIAL ADJUSTMENT REQUIRED
MESSAGE-CONTENT-FOLLOWS
OBSERVATION LOCATION: “Walgreen’s” (Retail Facility; see also: Toiletries, Snacks)
OBSERVATION TYPE: Small talk, attempt at
OUTCOME: Negative
DETAIL: Attempt to engage in “banter” with human clerk at Walgreen’s: when security buzzer sounded upon entering facility, small talk generator produced seemingly suitable witticism: “Hey, I haven’t even had TIME to steal anything yet!” Feedback receptors detected unexpected response: stony silence instead of laughter, grim glare instead of welcoming smile.
RESULTING ACTION: Kept head down, made purchase without further comment. Exit from retail facility achieved without further incident.
FOLLOWUP: Review television sitcom data files in greater detail; pay particular attention to Hostility, Subject of and Overtures, Rejected. Exhibit caution until more information is gleaned.
OBSERVATION LOCATION: Green Line T stop, Boston Common
OBSERVATION TYPE: Social Interaction (Invitation, Casual; Speculation, Idle)
OUTCOME: No detrimental effect
DETAIL: While engrossed in discussion of The Stepford Wives (see also: Films, Mediocre; Films, Reshot Endings Of), gave voice to fleeting idea of hosting Naked Lady Party at some point in future. While awaiting response, feedback receptors detected range of emotions wash across companions’ faces: fear, confusion, concern over possible hippie New Age bullshit in the offing.
RESULTING ACTION: Hastened to explain that the Naked Lady Party is merely a clothing swap. Companions relieved, understanding and enthusiastic.
FOLLOWUP: Strive to ensure that all parties know meaning of unfamiliar words and phrases. Note for future use: social interaction has gone awry when the sentence “You don’t actually have to get naked” must be employed.
CONCLUSION: Much work remains to be done at social level. Number of things that can throw the smooth flow of day-to-day interaction off course are staggering. However, valuable knowledge is gained from each failed attempt. Report will be filed upon completion of adjustments suggested above.
MESSAGE-END
Posted by hilatron at June 24, 2004 02:12 PM | TrackBackeff those walgreen's asshats. they wouldn't know a witty robot if it bit 'em in the ass!
Posted by: jenni at June 25, 2004 10:54 AMOh Tron, worry not-- having been one of the Naked Lady companions, I was not fazed-- I thought it was a drink. That look of confusion on my face is permanent, and not necessarily relevant to the situation at hand.
Posted by: EV at June 29, 2004 08:19 AM