Right now I am self-consciously attempting to be good to myself, and regain a sort of balance that includes my Dad duties but does not let them eclipse everything else. I have to go about this very deliberately because there is a large unhealthy chunk of my psyche that revels in the martyrdom shit, that wants me to continue being slightly crazed so that I will have an excuse to be miserable, to be felt sorry for, to live mostly on snack cakes and anxiety and to stare mopily at my personal unfulfilled to-do list. However, screw that. Self-flagellators never get invited to the fun parties.
So anyway, I am trying to eat healthier. The diet that's evolved out of a combination of stress, distraction, and the “I eat two out of three dinners alone; why bother cooking for just myself?” factor is lacking in nutrients and heavy on the preprocessing. Let no one fear that I am applying the whole ass to this endeavor, though; as with most self-improvement projects, I am doing my best to sign on in name only. My thing at the moment, for example, is “on a bed of fresh spinach.”
Isn’t that lovely? You can serve anything “on a bed of fresh spinach,” and it immediately becomes health food. Cous-cous from a box? Just more convenience food, until it appears on a bed of fresh spinach. Mac and cheese? So much classier on a bed of fresh spinach. Veggie burger? Looks charming on a bed of fresh spinach. Pita, cold out of the fridge, with margarine? Goes from guilty eat-standing-up snack to gourmet delight on a bed of fresh spinach! Don’t spray that whipped cream straight from the canister! Lay it out on a bed of fresh spinach, and you’ve got yourself a dessert salad! And so on.
Expect my big lament that my hard work has not caused my life to turn around and all my pants to fit better in, say, a week or so. Until then I remain, as always, your charming robot. On a bed of fresh spinach.
Posted by hilatron at June 16, 2004 12:01 PM | TrackBackI suppose, however, that putting fresh spinach on your bed wouldn't have the same effect.
Posted by: nikita at June 17, 2004 08:42 AMThat's funny, I asked for fresh spinach on my bbq chicken sandwich with sweet potato fries last night. It was very very healthy.
Posted by: EV at June 17, 2004 10:06 AMdon't be so hasty! spinach is great for you, and the others you listed - except maybe that pita and margarine (what's up with that?! get some hummus!) - are decently healthy too.
Posted by: jenni at June 17, 2004 11:11 AMnot that i'm so wise on food. i order in 99 percent of the time and my ass is ginormous.
Posted by: jenni at June 17, 2004 11:11 AMWhy just the other night I made a sweet potato and fresh spinach stir-fry (with tomatoes and feta) and I'll be darned if it wasn't both delicious AND healthy! Perhaps had I added some fresh spinach to that half-gallon of ice cream that I ate afterwards....
Posted by: aaron at June 17, 2004 05:19 PMDessert on a bed of fresh spinach??!!?? Pure Genius!
Posted by: Lizzie at June 18, 2004 08:54 AMHey, no comment in particular. But, what is the purpose of your life, anyway? Do you have balls?...Put up a picture and bare yourself or shut the fuck up, worthless stupid cunt, pseudo-cunt. I don't know, robot arse, you suck in some that's beyond your own powers. Kiss arse, robot.
Posted by: What? at June 23, 2004 01:26 PMsome way
Posted by: What? at June 23, 2004 01:36 PMI love you, What?. Can I have your children?
Posted by: EV at June 23, 2004 04:01 PMYou mean children, and a mangy twit like you? Really?
Posted by: What? at June 23, 2004 06:21 PMAnd what would your first language be, What? Not that your attempts at this one aren't simply charming . . .
Posted by: Doombot at June 23, 2004 06:22 PMIs it Dumb, is it Dumber or is it Dumbat, or is it Doombat? What's your first language, Dumbo?
Posted by: What? at June 23, 2004 08:06 PMI'm so sorry about your reading difficulties. Do check back once your IQ has exceeded your shoe size.
And share with us, why don't you, the nature of the power this blog is exerting over you. It's obvious you can't tear yourself away.
Posted by: Doombot at June 23, 2004 08:34 PMI see. I can see it all. You feel threatened.
I'll share.
I have been uncharacteristically away from my computer, so forgive me, What?, for not promptly thanking you. My very first incoherent and seemingly irrelevant hate comment! I cannot even decide what to adopt as my new motto: "Pseudo-Cunt," or "I Suck in Some That's Beyond My Own Powers." They're both so awesome! I'm almost sorry that you came back to correct your missing word, because the original sentence is so mysterious, so charmingly vague in its insulting intent.
Anyway, please make yourself at home here, What?. Every girl needs a heckler with poor language skills and too much time on its hands to complete her social circle.
Posted by: Hilatron at June 23, 2004 09:31 PMOk, Dumbo, I'll share with you these last fond words of wisdom: 'Tis far better to have kissed my arse and lost, than never to have kissed my arse at all. Adieu.
Posted by: What? at June 23, 2004 09:35 PMDittos, robot arse.
Posted by: What? at June 23, 2004 09:37 PM