I have discovered the one thing that separates people like me from rich people - not synthetic fibers, not health insurance, not luxury vehicles, not higher education. Nope. It's cords.
Rich people do not have visible cords. Ever. I had this revelation while looking at a picture of my grandmother sitting on the couch in her old house in Alton, taken when I was little. What made it look sorta trashy? Was it the poor lighting? The rust-and-orange floral couch (made out of some sort of ghastly synthetic wool later proven to be the world's itchiest substance)? My grandma's polyester blouse?
It was none of those things. What it was was the cord trailing from the needlepoint-sampler wall clock and disappearing behind the couch, an unseemly manifestation of inconveniently placed outlets. I look around my apartment, and I see nothing but cords: playstation controllers trailing in front of the television, speaker wire adorning the bedroom wall, an extension creating a safety hazard across the hallway in order to provide power to the cordless (ha!) phone. Rich people don't put up with that shit. You won't see them cursing in the middle of the night, tripping over the wiry obstacle that keeps their rotating fan going. I have yet to see a brown plastic extension cord worming its way across anyone's living room on Cribs. I'm not sure how they do it, but I'll know I've made it when these accursed connections are hidden away at last.
Posted by hilatron at February 16, 2004 06:55 PM | TrackBackYes, you've hit the nail on the head again. I suspect part of it is the use of cordless devices, like wireless Internet, which is still kind of a luxury.
My mother-in-law has maintained a house with hardly any visible wires for some time now (and it's a lovely house in every other way too). I can find out how she does it, but you'll have to be prepared for an explanation that may at one point involve viewing a dress made entirely of neckties.
dude, my apartment is totally a fire hazard. i don't even wanna *think* about it.
Posted by: jenni at February 17, 2004 11:24 AMwould you please start charging more for your crafty goods before i slap some sense into you? :) also, i want to decoupage tins. i am sure i can find this info on craftster or something like that, yes?
Posted by: jenni again at February 17, 2004 11:26 AMThis is so true! The wealthy are all cordless! Their cords are all built into walls or something. When I moved into my new apartment, I painstakingly tried to hide as many cords as I could, but some are still obvious.*hangs head in shame.*
Posted by: Ismat at February 17, 2004 05:26 PMJenni, you are a stern taskmistress. When I wanted to decoupage things, I just went and got some Mod Podge and went nuts. It's wonderful stuff, and oh so easy. Though apparently you can seal the Mod Podge when you are done and make it even better.
And for the record, Jess, I would be willing to not just view but wear (for a limited time) a dress made of neckties, if it allowed me to know the secret of cordless living. (This whole thing is turning into some sort of Greek myth.)
Posted by: Hilatron at February 18, 2004 10:22 AMYou're right. So now we know what to get for that person who has everything: a cord.
But seriously, why are there just brown extension cords and white extension cords (and of course the super-duper orange ones)? Why not something sleeky and silvery, or clear and see-through? New possibilities for Ikea, or Pottery Barn...
Posted by: Debbie at February 22, 2004 10:45 PM