Hey, while the minions of commercialism are busy creating holidays and inventing traditions and forcing idiotic trends upon the innocent public and all the other evil things that they do to make us buy more stuff, could I ask that they please take care of something?
I would like someone to create a word or simple catchphrase, suitable for inscribing on a greeting card, and imbue it with the following complex connotations:
"Dear Friend,
I realize that I never call, never write, and so this card might seem like a pretty rote and paltry attempt at communication. But I want you to know that this isn't just an obligatory gesture. I really do wish you well. I really do think of you often. It's just that I am fairly incompetent at taking care of the unending requirements of day-to-day life, and things get away from me, and so it takes outside social obligations such as the yearly Xmas-card dealie to goad me to reach out and say "hi" and all. So I hope that you can be the better person, and see the real meaning behind this inadequate attempt. I mean because if you expect me to be on top of shit, then we can't really be that close anyway.
Love,
Hilatron"
They should just print them that say that. But hey, at least you send Christmas cards. I have not reached that point of adulthood, even at 27.
Posted by: EV at December 15, 2003 10:18 AMThat is so great. That is EXACTLY what I want to say to all my friends that I haven't talked to in months but still love dearly. I'd steal it, but then not ONLY do I not have the time to call/write/e-mail/whatever, I'd also be using a stolen sentiment in a holiday card, and that seems sort of wrong. :)
P.S. I read your page all the time and you rock.
P.P.S. I also love your monster stockings and would like to thank you for pointing me towards that craft auction site.
Posted by: Meredith at December 15, 2003 02:08 PMyou should be selling your goodies at fartsy east village boutiques for 3 times what you're auctioning off for!
i don't even send xmas cards. i'm lucky if i remember a birthday. man, i am the worst at this 'adult' business.
i find that i have numerous relationships where friends and i don't talk for months at a time and then pick up right where we left off with no problems. probably because i'm a flake ;)
Posted by: jenni at December 15, 2003 02:12 PMyou should be selling your goodies at fartsy east village boutiques for 3 times what you're auctioning off for!
i don't even send xmas cards. i'm lucky if i remember a birthday. man, i am the worst at this 'adult' business.
i find that i have numerous relationships where friends and i don't talk for months at a time and then pick up right where we left off with no problems. probably because i'm a flake ;)
Posted by: jenni at December 15, 2003 02:12 PMOh, steal away. It's not like my "Happy Holidays. I hope you both are well." is rocking with originality.
Thanks for the kind words, you all. They are much needed and even more appreciated.
Posted by: Hilatron at December 15, 2003 03:01 PM