If I were to spare the life of a magic fish, or whatever, and the magic fish said, "I can give you the gift of one superpower of your choice," I would not have to ponder or doubt for even one second. Despite my love of teleportation and my frequent desire to bend inconsiderate subway-goers to my will, I would not hesitate before saying to the fish: "I would like the ability to stop time whenever I want, please, with the stipulation that during the time that time is stopped I can move things around, but cannot age or fatally injure myself or anything. Do not try any of that Monkey's Paw crap with me mister, I've read all the stories!"
The ongoing bane of my life is the huge gap between the multitude of possibles and the tiny portion of actuals, the unchecked to-dos, the compromises that have to be made because at some point you have to go to bed or go to work or go do errands or go go go. What I would like right now more than anything in the world, believe it or not, is the luxury of cleaning my house from top to bottom, of organizing the closets and cabinets, dusting sweeping vacuuming wiping, throwing out a truckload of old and unnecessary belongings, and then just sitting quietly in the clean sensibly arrayed silence.
But I can't…or I could, but it would mean giving up some or all of the following: making stockings to sell, planning and making Christmas presents for family, executing the usual Winter Holiday Whirlwind Tour, baking cookies, seeing friends, e-mailing other friends, sleeping, eating, watching movies, making clothes, taking walks.
So I exist like most people in an unsatisfying juggly state: this week the litter box stinks for a couple of days before it gets cleaned, that week I wear the same jeans for the fourth time. Today I go another day with two-inch-long blond roots, tomorrow I put off scouring Filene's Basement for cheap underwear. Tonight I make stockings and go to bed late, tomorrow I get further behind at work because I am tired and cranky. And every day there is the list of things that get totally neglected, ranging in scope from tedious errands to volunteering or doing whatever puny little thing I can do to help prevent this country from descending further into rabid reactionary chaos.
I am not in the mood to hear that "well you could just simplify" stuff right now, either. I am sick of balance and sensibleness and accepting that I cannot do it all. It is no fair and I won't have it. Is there room on my Amazon wishlist for time in a box?
Posted by hilatron at December 2, 2003 02:10 PM | TrackBackGod girlfriend, get out of my brain. I just started therapy, for christ's sake, for pretty much the same issues (not that you need therapy, I think I maybe have other issues too). I spend hours looking online for cool activities that I would commit to and excel at and change the world with if only I didn't want to go get beers and watch The West Wing and read books.
Posted by: EV at December 2, 2003 04:36 PMWell, I would have to agree with you wholeheartedly on the superpower choice. In fact, I was just talking about it last night. The only stipulation I didn't include was "cannot be fatally injured." I hadn't thought of that.
I can also empathize with your perdicament...
How long can I put off doing laundry? Is it really important to shower once a day? :)
Posted by: Andy at December 2, 2003 10:34 PMdude, you are outsmarting the evil fish! that is just the kind of thing my OCD is good for - thinking of all the ways i could be outsmarted by a talking coelacanth. i wish it was good for, say, cleaning the apartment. at least you *want* to clean the apt.
my biggest time-waster is "surfing da interweb, dude!" i can totally multitask by watching tv while knitting though. can i put that on my resume?
Posted by: jenni at December 3, 2003 08:05 PMA long time ago, I used to have this dream where I could stop time, and I'd go and play baseball for the Red Sox, and I'd be a pitcher and I'd throw the ball and as soon as the batter was about to swing, I'd stop time then go and move the ball so they'd miss and I'd be the greatest pitcher in all the world, and the Red Sox would win the world series!!! But then again, they went and signed Schilling, so they may not need me anymore.
Posted by: aaron at December 3, 2003 08:44 PM