Blogatron

Brain, Brain, Go Away

This is turning out to be one of those weeks where my brain refuses to accept that I need to work for a living. "You mean we have to go again?!" it cries. "We were just there!" My brain is likewise disinterested in the harsh realities of laundry, dishes, and dirty floors. It is altogether over all this mortal shit. It wishes to know just when I plan on getting around to winning the lottery, already, because it has had quite enough of the responsible member of society gig, thank you. It does not know what it wants for dinner, nor does it care unless that dinner is brought to the door in a paper bag carried by a minimum-wage-earner to whom my brain can give a generous tip.

"No takeout for lunch? No new t-shirts? No vacation?" says my brain. "Fine! Then I am going on strike. See if you can concentrate at work now, bitch.

"Oh, and don't think I'm going to let you get anything else accomplished while you're slacking. No writing or job seeking for you! I'm going to flit hither and thither to no purpose, making you unreasonably cranky and restless. Occasionally, I'll go into a spasm of worry about finances and/or the future, but under no circumstances will I do anything to make those worries less pressing. Now let's check those site stats again!"

"Coffee-Coolatta- Coffee-Coolatta- Coffee-Coolatta- Coffee-Coolatta- Coffee-Coolatta!" shrieks my brain all afternoon, knowing perfectly well that the pants I am wearing, a perfect fit last summer, are unattractively bulgy as it is. "No way," I tell it firmly. Later, at Dunkin Donuts, I whisper "Skim milk, please," while my brain is distracted by the close stander behind me. "You'll pay for this," hisses my brain.

"But, brain," I protest, "don't you see that this is a vicious circle? If you don't help me out here, we will only be more distraught and less able to afford lunches and vacations. Our credit card debt will rise, our stress levels will peak, our sense of humor will vanish ? "

"Shut up," snaps my brain. "You couldn't even spell 'vicious circle' without me. I'm holding all the cards here, and you know it. Now call in sick or I'll give you another headache!"

Lying on the couch at night, filled with malaise, draped in ennui, I click through all six channels that come in. "There's nothing oooon!" whines my brain. "Well, then why don't we do something else? We have all sorts of things we could do! Go for a walk, clean the bathroom, work on that column idea some more?"

"No way! I don't wanna do any of that stuff. I'm tired. Leave me alone!"

"Look, if you don't like any of my ideas, then stop complaining about being bored!"

"Fine! Maybe I just won't talk to you at all then!"

"Fine, lazy!"

"Fine, naggy!"

"Fine, then shut up already, why don't you!"

"Fine!"

so me an my brain are taking a brake for now i bet it comes crawling back haha! but dont worry I will totally keep blogging for you!!! I will try to entertain you with my thoughts?hmmm?what can i talk about?? ?theres not much to say. today i went to work, it totally sucked, my job is so borring! then i had to come home and do dishes and stuff and i was so tired i just wanted to watch America's Next Top Model...it sucked so hard! i hate chores!! i wish i was rich and could afford to eat out ever night wouldn?t that rock???? -Anyway i better go, i need to eat dinner Tonight we are having vegie (sp?) burgers and potato chips, mmmm i luuuuuv potato chips dont you? -Anyway, talk to you tomorrow oh...haha its so funny i forgot, i am posting this Wed. morning not Tues. night, so i allready ate dinner! But now i have something else to blog about because now i can tell you what i had for b'fast, sweet! i had a bagel and tea...yummy! i love it when i can write a long entry i know it's what you guys want, more of me! LOL :-P

Well, i better go cause i'm late for work. i hate work anyway, so i dont really care haha!

Posted by hilatron at June 11, 2003 07:25 AM