So I'm sad enough about the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I was thinking I really ought to be embarrassed about it, and then I spent part of yesterday looking at fan sites and message boards on the show's finale and I realized that, in fact, I am stunningly well-adjusted. Get a grip people! It was a television show! You would think, from the snarking and the harping, that we were promised that the series finale of Buffy would create a state of instant enlightenment for fans the world over and we would all ascend to a higher plane where our favorite designer-clad superhero would give us fighting lessons and tell us we smelled nice, and [insert preferred cute cast member here] would start looking all dewy-eyed and ask us if we wanted to go for a walk, and even though that means that like 500,000 people would have to share Spike, there would be no jealousy again, nor war nor disease nor bad hair, ever.
I just don't have what it takes to be a part of this. How do you find the energy to keep watching week after week, when your only purpose is to point out each episode's flaws? How can you keep the love alive when you're unsatisfied with every. single. last. detail? I had to end my visit to the land of the SuperFans prematurely, because it was sullying my memory of the entire damn show. Every plot choice sucked. The acting was terrible. The writing was okay, but only in comparison to the rest of the season, which had obviously been penned by angry trolls. Buffy was too mean. Buffy was too wimpy. The wrong people lived. The wrong people died. The effects were terrible. Too much money was spent on effects, when we could have had more returning guest stars instead. On and on and on.
It's clear that I am not a true fan. I was just content that there were vampires, and kung fu fighting, and girls kicking ass, and snappy banter. I've never expected a lot from my television - my standard for a decent show is "doesn't make me groan in pain." This doesn't necessarily mean that I'm not aware of quality issues - for all its charms, I'm aware that the Buffy mythology had enough holes to house every rodent on the planet, that the acting was spotty, etc. But when I watched it I enjoyed myself, and that's really all I ask.
I realize this is all pretty damn funny coming from the girl who cannot utter the sentence "I liked that movie" without appending "but..." But...I just don't approach television the same way. Buffy was what it was, we all had a good time, and thank the Fates that the show ended on a relatively high note rather than slinking into the furtive depths reached by, say, The X-Files.
I'm still sad about the show's demise, though, mostly because it's getting harder and harder to ignore how much television sucks these days. Now that Buffy's gone, there are maybe two shows that I'll actively look forward to watching. And I have few hopes for the fall season: the fall previews are up on All Your TV, with each network debuting 5 to 7 series. The press releases are filled with old ideas, stupid ideas, or gross The War On Terror?-exploiting ideas. The words "edgy," "over-the-top," and "irreverent" are used with disturbing frequency.
And then there is this. "Point of inspiration," my ass. I recently had the pleasure of watching the original Danish series, and it's a damn shame that they're running it through the vast homogenization machine that is ABC/Stephen King, because I haven't seen anything that defiantly weird on American television since Twin Peaks (or maybe Wild Palms, but I never pass up a chance to mention Twin Peaks).
What's worse, however, is the toll it's going to take on my social life. I know what's going to happen: someone will mention The Kingdom, maybe at work, or at a party, and I won't be able to help myself. "Oh, you know that's based on a Danish show," I'll say. They will look at me blankly. "I can't believe they're remaking it ? with Stephen King of all people," I'll continue, as eyes begin to glaze over, and by the time I get to "?really nothing worth watching on the domestic market these days anyway," people will be unobtrusively backing away, and before I know it no one will return my phone calls. If you don't believe me, just ask anyone in my acquaintance about the Ring/Ringu debacle of last fall. Maybe I share more in common with those Buffy fans than I'd like to believe...
Worst of all is the fact that I'll probably watch the sham Kingdom anyway. I watch all the crap. The TV is on in my house for two hours a day minimum, usually much more. I'm often doing stuff at the same time ? I'm on the couch writing this entry in front of an ER rerun ? but I'm still taking it in. The offensive co-opting of worthy work, the ever-more-desperate reality show premises, the hackneyed sitcoms that recycle the same jokes over and over and over ? I sit here for a hours of it every week.
Maybe it's my low expectations that cause me to waste my time like this; maybe if my standards were a little higher I'd get fed up enough to just turn the damned thing off when Fox unleashes yet another assault upon good taste. That's why I have to give a little respect to the Buffy fanatics and their ilk. They don't give up. Their demands may be relentless and unrealistic, but at least they resist the parade of inanities that passes for entertainment on television these days. "Not agonizingly bad" isn't good enough for them, and I kind of wish that this were the case for enough of us that the networks would take notice.
So to fanboys, -girls, and -bots everywhere, I say: kvetch on. Let your voices carry clear across the hills and plains, reminding us all that there is still a place for sensible continuity, decent acting, and good writing on television. Though you may face mockery, eye-rolling, and unflattering caricatures, your cause is noble and your martyrdom will be remembered. You stand between a befuddled public and a flood of broadcast mediocrity. Let no detail, no matter how small, escape your notice, and carp, carp against the dying of the light.
Posted by hilatron at May 23, 2003 12:21 AM