Hello! I hope you are all getting nice big refunds. As you may recall, I did my taxes about a week ago (I hope). Lest you all hate me, let me hasten to assure you that I have many other weaknesses to make up for my lack of last-minute tax preparation humor. Here are some of the things currently keeping me humble:
-Spend at least twenty minutes per day thinking very mean thoughts about Mari Winsor.
-Hamstrings unnaturally inflexible.
-Not unable, just unwilling to seek treatment for thrift store addiction.
-Singlehandedly set gender politics back 25 years by screaming, fleeing the bathroom, and demanding that boyfriend kill centipede last night.
-Hardly ever do any work at all anymore (guess where this was written?).
-Got a stellar evaluation anyway, causing feelings of guilt and deceptiveness.
-Would rather spend time building portfolio on Blogshares than do anything productive.
-Actually caught self thinking, "Hey, this is easy! I should get some money together to play the stock market for real."
-Looking forward to the summer's trashy blockbuster lineup a little too much.
-Still measuring self-worth almost exclusively through site stats.
-Daffodils not tall and in radiant bloom like the neighbors'.
-Despite being a functional(ish) adult, still intimidated by "the cool kids" at the elementary school next to work.
-Now inarguably a member of the "plans life around prime-time TV schedule" camp.
-Cannot figure out where the HELL the good tweezers went.
-Patented "brightly cheerful, with all hostility and resentment carefully masked from mortal ears" phone voice has edged over into just plain hostile for no readily apparent reason.
-Although perhaps this has something to do with the fact that brain has left body behind, to frolic merrily in the sun, while body slaves away indoors.
Posted by hilatron at April 16, 2003 11:07 AMI will have a "whose hamstrings are more unnaturally inflexible" contest with you. I think most of my insecurities come from the Sit 'n' Reach assessment during the Presidential Physical Fitness Exam in middle school.
Posted by: EV at April 16, 2003 11:22 AMYou're on, yo. And don't EVEN get me started on the psychological damage inflicted by the PPFE. If you know the pain of being given the single "pity pull-up" credit year after year, clap your hands...
Posted by: Hilatron at April 16, 2003 01:49 PMCLAP CLAP CLAP and CLAP!
Posted by: EV at April 16, 2003 05:40 PMI failed shoe-tying in fifth grade. After you fail shoe-tying they don't even let you go near the pull-up bars.
Posted by: tree at April 19, 2003 07:24 AM