Due to the incredibly unbelievable amount of ridiculous crap we are trying to fit into a one-bedroom apartment, our bed is not positioned with its head against the wall with space on either side and maybe matching night tables, like you see in the furniture catalogs. Instead, it is crammed into the corner so that one side of it runs along the wall. Because I volunteered for it out of the sweet goodness of my heart (blink blink), my side is the against-the-wall side. There is a gap in between the bed and the wall, and into this furrow go: my glasses, books I am reading, hair clips that I forget to take out until I hurt myself when I lie down, and my water glass. This way, these things are within easy reach when I need them.
The other night, I awoke to a call of nature. As I lay, mustering the strength to fumble around for my glasses and my beverage, a strange noise reached my ears. It was a bit of a...scrabbly noise. Right next to the bed. My sleepy mind reeled off the possibilities. Rat? Giant centipede? Monster?
Of course it was none of these dire possibilities. It was the cat! My cute, furry little companion! Nothing to worry about! All was well -
Slurp.
Wh. Wha. What?
Slurp. Slurp-slurpy-slurpity-slurp.
WHAT was THAT? That had better not be what I think it was, Cat. That had better not be -
It was. Murray, apparently not satisfied with the abundance of water available in his dish, had decided to try mine. The water that sits beside my bed every night. The water that I depend on to slake my thirst in the wee hours.
And of course you have to wonder: is this the first time? If your cat drinks your water in the night and you are not awake to hear it, can you still get cooties?
So the gap beside the bed has become a piece of territory as hotly disputed as the most changeable international border. In the past few days, I have been forced to deploy all my advanced military techniques - opposable thumbs, scary noises and the like - to defend my turf. Murray, meanwhile, encroaches steadily, using guerilla tactics and taking advantage of the cover of night. During the day, we circle each other warily, looking for signs of weakness. Where will it all end? I fear that this dispute will spill over into the entire bedroom region, forcing me to bar the door at night and subject Josh to the loss of sleep that will surely ensue as Murray launches his assault on the barricade. There's no telling how far this thing could escalate.
And who knows what side Josh will take? That boy's a wild card. His domestic policy is all over the place.
Posted by hilatron at February 12, 2003 09:15 PMSounds like you have some serious strategy thinking to do.
You could always try marking your territory. Unless that's just for dogs.
Or you could spray girl cat pheromones on the other side of the room, so that he'll hang around there instead.
Or something. I don't know. I never had a cat; and I finally got my dad to semi-agree when I realized how cruel to the cat that would be. If I was a cat, I would not want to live in my house. (My dad's not an animal person...and my family is noisy...I'll wait till I have my own place.)
i caught my cat drinking my water once. but she wasn't just sticking her head in the glass and lupping up her refreshment(it was a tall glass and her head too big) she was drinking it by sticking her paw in it and licking the water off her foot. how nasty is that?! everyone knows where kitty feet have been. ugh. since then, i stick to bottled water with a tight fitting lid on my bedstand.
Posted by: vectorgirl at February 13, 2003 10:38 AMI feel that I can safely state, without fear of retribution, that it is not the first time that your cat has been in your water...because you have not yet come to the realization yet that it is not YOUR water.
Posted by: CW at February 13, 2003 12:13 PMno one needs to worry
cats don't have cooties
my cats drink from my glass all the time
and nothing bad has ever happened to me
*twitch*
and i get to rest assured
that my feline companions aren't dehydrating
*twitch*
and another thing hilitron
there is NO WAY to stop kitty
kitties are not stopable
*twitch*
kitties will do whatever they want too
and i must say
you're kinda tempting kitty anyway
*twitch*
i have yet to meet a cat who can resist
glasses of water
shoved between the bed and the wall
*twitch*
in fact, ANYTHING shoved into an odd space
is kitty temptation
*twitch*
so maybe you need to reconsider
the layout of the bedroom
if you hang the bed from the ceiling
kitty will be too preoccupied leaping and jumping
to drinking from your water glass
ok?
*twitch*
but like i said in the beginning
kitties don't have cooties
meow
and nothing will happen to you if kitty drinks
meow
from your glass
i am the proof
-bluegirl
Posted by: bluegirl at February 13, 2003 12:25 PMMayhaps I should get you one of those jaunty pink Nalgene bottles as a "please don't die of feline toxic shock syndrome*" present? Tight fitting lid and machine-wash friendly!
*I am aware that this disease is undocumented by medical science. That's not the same as not-real, however.
Posted by: Court at February 13, 2003 01:24 PMWhen Murray lived with me I used to kiss him on the lips, give him shotguns, and let him sip my gin. And so I must apologize for his rather relaxed tendancies. Up 'til now he, like me, has led a decadent bachelor life.
Posted by: tree at February 13, 2003 03:52 PMFirst of all, I'd like to clarify a point Hilatron's made. It's not so much that she took that side of the bed out of the goodness of her heart, but rather than it's the side of the bed she's slept on for some time before we even moved here. In fact, with the exception of a brief stint in which I tried to sleep in the space with less room at the end of the bed for my (roughly) 6'3" legs to hang off of, it's the side she's always slept on. ;-b
As to which side I'll choose, well, we'll have to wait an see. I may well form a sovereign state, from which Quiggy and I will mock the epic struggle of Hilatron vs. Seņior Stank-Butt. How soon you've forgotten my stance during the Great War of 2002, which was a battle of the Multisegmented Crawly Fast Things ov Doom vs. yourself.
Then again, I may simply sleep through it all.
Posted by: Josh at February 14, 2003 02:09 AM