The time has come to reveal the truth to you, my readers. I can't keep living a lie. You see, the ordinary identity of Hilatron is but one facet of my personality. Since the beginning of the new year, I have been living a double life: by day, merely a mild-mannered robot constructed under advanced conditions for the purpose of studying human life; but by night, or after coming in from the cold, or upon waking up in the morning, or within moments of consuming spicy food, I transform into...PHLEMMO!
Phlemmo produces astonishing quantities of mucous with a single blow!
Phlemmo keeps enemies at bay with Sneeze Attack and the Hacking Cough Maneuver!
Phlemmo spreads her invincible timed-release Germ Surprise in all the hostile territory she infiltrates!
Phlemmo makes money on the side providing disgusting noises for horror movie soundtracks!
Phlemmo makes people nervous by walking behind them, breathing funnily!
Phlemmo provides cats with much needed exercise by causing them to flee from the room in terror!
Phlemmo's voice cannot be recognized on any phone line known to man!
Phlemmo likes naps!
Phlemmo apologizes for any "friendly fire" which may occur!
Phlemmo must eat simple carbohydrates every couple of hours, or she starts to get cranky!
See Phlemmo battle her arch-enemies, DaQuilia von Capsuel and Disinfectica!
Gasp as Phlemmo overcomes the forces of Disposable Soft Paper Products Inc!
Cheer as Phlemmo enters the Land of Cat-Box Odor, unaffected by the toxic stench!
I know what you're thinking...feature film, right? But I'm a traditional girl. I prefer to seek fame and fortune through a hit comic book first. Anyone interested in doing the artwork? I'm short on cash, but I can promise to pass on my new super-powers to you...
Posted by hilatron at January 11, 2003 01:39 AMhilatron
i'll be your artist. where do i sign?
Can you team up with my superhero alter ego VectorGirl? Able to decipher DNA maps with a single bound! *I also come with side kicks ImmunoBoy and ScienceMan. We could have a sort of Friendship Hall thing going on.
;-)
You guys are the best. Once my damn computer is fixed, I am going to work on The Adventures of Phlemmo Part 1. I can't promise it'll be done anytime soon, being as lazy as I am, but I'll give it a whirl.
What I really want to know is, would Phlemmo and ImmunoBoy repel one another like magnets? Because that could get messy, those two bouncing off each other and busting up the joint.
Posted by: Hilatron at January 14, 2003 02:06 AMmaybe you should relaaaaax with the snuff, phlemmo.
Posted by: jenni at January 14, 2003 11:33 PMI think Phlemmo and ImmunoBoy (generally a defender of the immune system) might initially be at odds. But in true good superhero fashion will find a way to unite their opposing powers in order to save the universe from certain doom.
:-)
VectorGirl is off to the lab to perfect her cloning and pipetting techniques. She must ready for the battle cry at a moments notice!