You guys, I'm not a lot of use this week. Plus I have all this, like, other stuff I'm supposed to be doing besides writing entries. The indignity! At any rate, in lieu of doing much writing, I present you with some of the helpful rules provided at the Port Authority Greyhound Bus ticket counter, scribbled down in a notebook while waiting in an oh-so-long line. Pretty sorry excuse for an entry, eh? Commentary is in italics.
Travel Tips
1. [Something that was not funny, apparently, since I didn't write it down].
2. Baggage is heavy - do not carry more than you need. Let that be a lesson to you: leave your childhood traumas and commitment issues at home to insure a pleasant trip. Unless, of course, you're going to need them.
3. Only ask questions of authorized personnel. A) How do you figure out if someone is authorized to answer questions, though? You have to ask them...but you can't ask them until you know that they are authorized! It's a logistical nightmare!! B) Have you ever asked an Authorized Person a question at the Port Authority Bus Terminal? Ha, ha. Bet you didn't do it twice, unless you get off on having people act all offended that you have the gall to need INFORMATION, or want to know WHERE you ARE, or something.
4. [See Number 1].
5. Plan your trip - arrive at the terminal in ample time to board - rushing will only tire you. Does this just give you a warm fuzzy feeling, or what? Greyhound cares, they really really do!
6. Bring a sweater if you chill easily. It's often cooler where you are going, than where you came from. How sweet, more tips from Ma Greyhound! Sound advice, but, um, if you're already at the ticket stand, aren't you kind of screwed? I love the "if you chill easily..." Kinda gives the impression that these rules are only for the lily-livered, not for those manly burly bus-riding types.
Stay tuned for next week, when Hilatron will deconstruct a VCR manual! Oooh, the tawdry excitement!
Posted by hilatron at December 4, 2002 09:42 AMack, premature button pushing... anyways, i was going to say this. i avoid greyhound at all costs as i nearly got *shot* by an angry armed man determined to (presumably) prevent his (abused) woman from fleeing town via greyhound bus.
Posted by: Vectorgirl at December 4, 2002 12:59 PMKinda gives the impression that these rules are only for the lily-livered, not for those manly burly bus-riding types.That or the Greyhound-hardened, who expect to freeze to death while in their bus coma, as the air conditioning's often far too cold -- particularly in winter!
Xmas is coming! Xmas is coming! Oh Greyhound, how I've missed your funky smell.
Posted by: Josh at December 4, 2002 01:31 PM