Current most hated television commercial: Those damn Progresso soup ads because: 1) SO OVER that ?oh, look, I just happen to have brought some Product X with me on our weather research expedition? thing; 2) could those people be more condescending? ?Oh, just because you?re short doesn?t mean you have to act like a small child with your Chicken and Stars, silly bean!? and blah, blah. Hilatron would take their can of damn soup and cold-cock them with it.
Current favorite grocery shopping CD: Patsy Cline, The Ultimate Collection (Disc 2). ?Crazy Arms? is where it?s at, cats.
Current reason to be most annoyed about being broke: new scratch on eyeglasses.
Current compelling reason to remain broke: three-day work week.
Current least favorite personal realization: snacking preferences have outstripped daily caloric demands, thus necessitating hard choice between handfuls of Nestle Butterscotch Morsels and still being able to wear only good pair of black pants without having some socially challenged little gnome pop out of a bush with a digital camera and put picture up on The Camel-Toe Report, accompanied by an ungentlemanly assessment of the robotic physique.
Current most shameful confession: recently laughed during screening of Dharma & Greg.
Current thing missing from life: stretching and bending.
Current element of which there is an overabundance: details.
Current ?I can?t believe I?m asking this question? question: ?What we need to know is, how did the cat poo get there??
Current fashion ideal: Well-Groomed, ?20s-through-?40s Inspired, Elegant Yet Somewhat Funky and Always Comfortable, Able to Wear Grownup Things Like Skirts and Ironed Blouses, Never Resorting to Target and Old Navy Solid Color Separates Like Hilatron Does Almost Daily Girl.
Current proof that Hilatron is still not a grownup: continuing belief that bedtime is an evil plot against super-happy-funtime, despite circles under eyes and increasing level of caffeine dependence.
Current most-difficult-to-resist annoying verbal tic: saying ?Word!? in order to indicate agreement.
Current top reason why Hilatron is going to hell: thought bad thoughts about woman on phone who kept getting cut off and calling back, even though this was clearly not her fault.
Current nemesis: homeless knick-knacks.
Current household mystery: how to explain the alarming rate of soap consumption?
Current favorite thing about Boston: $3.25 for draught beer in bars, plus being able to sit down at a table in them even when you show up at 10:30 on a Friday night. In your FACE, Manhattan!
Posted by hilatron at November 24, 2002 01:07 PMDo not let Hilatron fool you - she does,in fact, look inspired, elegant, somewhat funky and always comfortable every day. She actually invented this look. Her wardrobe is endowed with considerable resources of teal, perfectly fitting skirts, shoes that work, and an ideal blend of trendy au currant pieces and vintage finds that no one else has. Thus enabling Hilatron to acheive a cohesive, distinct style every day, leaving the rest of us to say - "where did you get that?" This totally uncalled for lament can only be explained by the demoralizing effects of the aforementioned cat poop.
Posted by: Captain Glitter Biscuit at November 27, 2002 03:07 PMHilatron is not sure this can be right, seeing as how she had to look up "au currant."
However, she blushes, squirms, and stammers "pshaw," which is a robot's way of graciously intoning, "why, thank you kindly!"
Posted by: The Editors at November 27, 2002 08:20 PM