Our neighbors are evil! Well, two of them at least. Number one, the person who lives directly above us. He or she is a floor-banger, apparently one with supersensitive hearing at that. I mean, when Josh and I have to don those sonic hearing aids they sell on TV just to hear our own music, it's time to quit with the floor-banging and just come downstairs and explain about how you got stuck in the teleportation chamber with a bat, or whatever your problem is, man.
Secondly, the third or fourth floor. Oh, am I pissed. Josh and I were just sitting in the living room, and heard a strange sound on the patio. We looked out the door and there was a rain of debris falling from the sky. I went out and peered up through the deluge to see that someone WAS SHAKING THEIR DUSTPAN OUT THE WINDOW ONTO OUR PATIO!!! What really makes me mad is that I had to duck back inside to avoid being blinded before I could see whether it was coming from the 3rd or 4th floor, otherwise I'd be up there tearing them a new one instead of writing this. One thing's for certain though, I WILL catch them in the act again, and there will be endless trouble when I do. I mean, imagine that you're going about your day, cleaning up the house, and you find yourself with a full dustpan. What do you do? Do you throw it out the window? NO, because you know damn well there's a patio out there that people use! Oh yes you do! There is no way that someone who stopped to think about it for the remotest nanosecond could possibly fail to realize that what they were doing would mess with someone's patio! And I just moved out of New York, where I developed a real nasty temper and was deprived of access to the natural world for four years! And you DO! NOT! MESS! with my PATIO!!!
Scheming and plotting,
Ranting and raving,
Stroking a butcher knife,
Hilatron
someone in my building was letting her pet rottweiler, lola, pee off of her patio onto the neighbors' patios below.
Posted by: uberfrau at August 19, 2002 06:59 AMNow THAT is NASTY. I'm sure glad our upstairs neighbors don't pee out the window!
My mom says:
'carefully sweep up the gradoux from the patio into your own dustpan, take it upstairs and deposit it outside the offender's front door with a note: "This fell from your window onto our patio. It appears to have been badly damaged by the fall. Sorry -- you might want to keep your valuables away from the windowsills."'
Heh-heh. That's a great idea, if we can just figure out who the culprit is...
Posted by: hilatron at August 21, 2002 03:21 PM